“I want to talk. I actually want to tell someone what I feel. I want to tell her, but I can’t. I don’t do that. I don’t confide. I don’t vent. I don’t share. I don’t trust anyone, ever.” Sarah Ann Walker
These thoughts may have crossed your mind at some point. I acknowledge that there were many times I felt like this. The distrust arising from having trusted, shared and vented with people I considered my safe space only to find that this was not the case as I was judged, criticized and my story shared with others.
Venting is your expression of emotion around a subject that moves you forward or through an issue. It is different to complaining. Bottling up everything inside you is not good for you.
Venting does help you cope and may have a positive shift on your mental well-being if you are able to do this in the RIGHT WAY. The importance is knowing with whom or where to do this safely.
Extreme quote: “A wise man once said NOTHING … He just let her vent, nodded his head and lived happily ever after!” Tanya Masse ☺️
We just need the WISE man/woman to be in our lives, holding space whilst we navigate the rough stuff.
There are always solutions.
Here’s a few thoughts on what not to do when someone vents to you.
Avoid these types of responses:
“it’s no big deal”
“just don’t give it any energy or thought”
“brush it off”
“you can/you should, try this”
“at least”
“it could be worse”
These would be the encouraging responses you may use as appropriate for you at that time of engagement.
“I know you’re having such a hard time with this”
“I’m sorry you’re hurting so much”
“Whenever you need to call, I’m here”
“I wish I could be there right now”
“You’re still in my thoughts”
“Your family is lucky to have you through all this”
“Maybe I can’t be there, but there’s definitely something I can do”
“Hey, get well soon.”
“You’re doing a great job with a major responsibility.”
Or say nothing. Just listen until they are done and then affirm with an appropriate comment such as Thank you for sharing this with me. Perhaps have a cup of tea together thereafter. Let the energy settle.
Helping others in this way is something within your control to do for another individual if you feel comfortable to do so. There is always the option to seek professional help if someone is really struggling.
Take care
Roshini
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#mentalhealth #mentalhealthsupport
Resource acknowledgements:
Greatergood.berkeley.edu
Anokhilife.com